


I'm sorry

by Yuulina_vre



Series: Little Supersoldiers [24]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angry Reader, Angst, Cold, Cold Weather, Comfort, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, Kid Steve, Kid Steve Rogers, Lady (dog), M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Protective Avengers, Protective Bucky, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protectiveness, Puppy Love, Running Away, Scared Steve, Sleep Deprivation, Worried Avengers, Worried Bucky Barnes, Worried Reader, scared steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-12-29 21:23:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18302201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuulina_vre/pseuds/Yuulina_vre
Summary: A fight between Bucky and Y/N let little Stevie think that his mommy will leave. He doesn't want that. So he leaves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It a bit longer this time and has more than one chapter but I really hope you like this one.  
> It's a bit dramatic but I know that many children think, when their parents fight, that it's their fault somehow. So, I wanted to picture it with our favorite Avengers.
> 
> Don't forget about prompts and my twitter or discord for updates :D

Y/N paces up and down. She feels the heat and the anger in her guts. For a second, she thinks about throwing stuff around to get rid of the pent-up energy that her anger brings, but Lady is laying on the couch with watchful eyes and Stevie is in the playroom. If she starts throwing things than one of them might get hurt and that’s something she doesn’t want. So, she continues her pacing and prepares herself for the up coming fight. She hears keys jingle against each other and the shuffle as they get shoved into the lock. The door opens, and she looks up from the spot on her socks she focused on while pacing. Lady jumps down from the couch and runs up to the front door, barking happily and jumping up and down Bucky’s leg as the brunette steps in. “Hey, girl.” Y/N sees him pat the Dog in an awkward angle, so that he doesn't have to bend down too much. Over the last weeks the pup got quite big. She already gets up to Bucky's knees and when she jumps up and down like now, she manages to come up to his stomach. The man shrugs off his jacket, just as Steve runs up to him and stretches out his arms to get picked up. “Daddy! You are back!”

“Yes. Hello big boy.” Bucky smiles at him and bends down to pick him up with his metal arm. Y/N clearly sees his wince and how his right hand covers a spot on his side. She crosses her arms and waits for the brunette to step through the doorway into the living room, which he soon does. “Hey, doll.” He smiles at her but it falters as soon as he sees her angry glare. Her eyes switch to Steve. “Stevie, please go and play. Mommy has something to discuss with daddy.”

“But mommy…”

“Please!” She says it a bit firmer than she intended and as she sees Steve flinch, her voice and features get a bit softer. “Please, Stevie. Take Lady with you. I’ll come in a bit.” Reluctantly Steve releases his tight grip on Bucky's neck and lets the brunette set him down. He takes Lady by her collar and drags her into the playroom. Y/N waits just long enough for Steve to close the door before she explodes. “What were you thinking! Do you have a death wish?” Bucky looks confused at her and shakes his head. “What?”

“Do you want to die that desperately that you throw yourself into every bullet that flies around on the battlefield?” She gestures widely for a moment. She knows that Bucky dawns what she means. He sighs and strokes his flesh hand through his long hair. “Who told you?”

“Nat did. But that’s not important. You got shot and could have died. What makes me even angrier than you throwing your life away like this, is that you also try to hide something like a bullet wound from me.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it. You had caught up on it eventually.”

“Eventually? And that’s not hiding for you? I know for a fact that you’re back for over four hours now and you didn’t even bothered with telling me that you got shot in the first place. That’s obviously hiding, Bucky. It's your duty to tell me or Steve something important like this! We worry!”

“I know, I’m sorry! But you know that it’s dangerous for us to go out and fight and that we get hurt sometimes.”

“I do, yes. But no one told me that you actually try to kill yourself. Just tell me if Steve and I aren’t enough for you, if you want to be alone so no one needs to weep over your death. We can easily leave, if you don’t want us to be around!”

“That’s not true and you know it! I love you and I love Stevie as well.” Y/N watches as Bucky’s face gets red from anger, too. He starts pacing and frowns his arms to gesture around. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I’m not stupid!”

“Really?” She looks at him with a death glare. “Because if you throw yourself into a bullet, thats supposed to hit someone who's covered in armor, unlike you, then I think you must be stupid!”

“So, you rather see someone, one of your closest friends, get shot instead of me who can save him? You rather have someone get hurt you're not so attached to?” Bucky’s face shows just the littlest expression of disbelieve.

“Tony is wrapped in armor! He wouldn't even got hurt by one bullet! You instead could have hit in the head, and we never would have you around again.”

“So, you really don’t care about your friends being shot at and the risk of them dying? Because, that’s what could happen. And I’m willing to risk everything to save the others if I can. Even if it means to get hurt myself. I heal quicker than the others. I would do the same for you and for Steve. And he would, too.”

“Let Steve out of this! And healing quick doesn't mean that you're invincible! You can DIE, Bucky! And you just keep ignoring this fact! It’s not about the others or if I care about them getting shot. YOU are my boyfriend and I care about YOU getting shot at.”

“I’m not ignoring it, Y/N! I’m just weighting up the greater good. Better they live than me, with all that I’ve done, it's what I need to do to keep them safe. They deserve to live because they’re good people, unlike me.” Y/N’s eyes go big for a moment before her face turns expressionless. She studies him for a second. “Is that so?” It’s a rhetorical question, and she's not waiting for an answer. At the moment she walks past him she sees how Bucky’s face changes in one of realization. “Y/N. I didn’t mean to-” But she's not listening. Instead, she walks over to the entrance, slips into her shoes, grabs her jacket and leaves the apartment. Bucky grabs her wrist as she's about to shut the door. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just-”

“Let go of me.” She practically growls and glares at him. Her eyes are a bit darker and glistening with anger. Startled he lets go of her. She turns around and walks down the hall. “Where are you going?” His voice is still angered but Y/N hears worry, guilt and the tiniest of fear in it. “It’s none of your business!” She shouts back angrily, blinded by her anger and range and steps into the elevator, ignoring Bucky's shout for her to wait.

She rides down to the first floor and steps out hesitantly. Looking around the busy hall she tries to decide what to do. She’s still angry. But now there is hurt, too, that mixes to that feeling. Bucky still believes he doesn’t deserve to be happy. He's willing to sacrifice himself to safe the others. For other people, it would be a noble act, but for Bucky it’s just the fact that he thinks he doesn't deserve to live. Even after all the time they live together he doubts himself. Which leads to her thinking that he's not as happy with her and Steve as he lets them think. _Is he even thinking about what he does to her and Steve if he thinks like that?_

A tap on her shoulder lets her twitch together and look up. “Tony?” She's met with the smiling face of the genius who stands right beside her with his new sunglasses with yellow glass in it on the bridge of his nose. One look is enough for him to frown instantly. “Trouble in paradise?”

“I’m not in the mood, Tony.”

“Ouch.” Tony placed a hand over his heart. “Need some distraction? I’m heading down to the tower to meet with Pep. I could drop you off somewhere.”

“No, I’m-” She stops and thinks for a second before she nods. “Actually, yeah. Please drop me off somewhere.”

“Alright. Follow my lead and try not to look prettier and smarter than I am.” With a small smile she follows the billionaire down to the garage and joins him in his car.

 

 

It's already dark outside when she gets back to the compound. Tony had offered her, to drive her back or to call Happy to do so, but she had politely declined and had taken a taxi back. Now it’s somewhat past nine and the compound is almost ghostly silent. She steps through the empty entrance hall and walks across it to the elevators. Each step sounds back to her in the big hall, and she feels a cold shudder run over her back. Quickly, she steps into the elevator as the doors open automatically. “To my floor, please.”

“Of course.” She nods short to FRIDAY’s answer and for a second, she thinks about asking if someone’s still awake, so she can join whoever it is but shakes her head and throws the thought away instead. She’s a bit tired after running through New York all day. As the doors of the cabin open once again, she steps out, fumbles for her keys and opens the front door. She just manages to slip out of her shoes and jacket as the dog comes slithering around a corner and collides with her legs. Lady's tail waggles quickly from one side to the other, her tongue lolls out, and she sniffs on Y/N’s hand. Y/N quickly pats her head but ignores the dog as she tiptoes through the hall. She looks shortly into the living room, which is dark and empty and then tiptoes over to the kids’ room. Steve’s already in bed and fast asleep, his sheep clutched to his chest, blanket discharged to the end of the bed. His shirt is pulled up and bares his skinny chest. Carefully, Y/N shoves Lady inside the room and walks across herself. She pulls down his shirt, drapes the blanket back around him and plants a small kiss to Steve’s forehead. For a moment she thinks his eyes look a bit puffy and red but then it could also be the lighting of his night lamp that plays with her mind. “Stay here.” She commands to the pup and watches as the dog jumps up on Stevie's bed and snuggles close to the boy. She pats Lady’s head a last time before she ducks out of the room. Her eyes wander automatically to Bucky’s door and for the littlest of a second, she thinks about peeking inside and watching the man sleep. The fight comes back to her mind and anger flares up once again. “He has to suffer for a bit.” She decides and walks straight to her room, gets ready for bed and falls into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

When Y/N wakes up she feels barely rested. She knows he had dreamed confusing stuff she can’t remember anymore and had thrown herself around which let her feel a bit exhausted and still tired. She peels herself out of bed and slowly gets ready for the day. As she leaves her room, she sees Lady and Stevie walk out of the Kids’ room. “Mommy.” A small smile spreads over Steve's face as he sees her. He rubs his eyes tiredly and yawns but makes his way over to her. “Hey, sweetie. Did you sleep well?” Steve hums and hugs her tights before he looks up at her. “Where were you?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know I wasn’t there for bedtime. I was out with your uncle for a bit. It got quite late.” She crouches down to plant a kiss on his cheek and rubs her tired eyes herself. Lady uses this opportunity to lick Y/N’s cheek. Carefully, she turns the puppy's head away from herself and rubs her cheek dry. “Daddy was worried.”

“Do you want to go to the common room for breakfast?” She ignores his statement, still mad at Bucky for his recklessness and instead picks the small boy up in her arms. He slings his arms around her neck and nods before a second yawn escapes him. Y/N chuckles and soon walks with him, and Lady in tow, to the common room.

It’s silent in the common room despite all the people that are there. Wanda and Vision sit on the couch and sip their teas silently taking to each other. Natasha and Clint sit on the kitchen isle, talking and eating something Y/N barely can identify. Sam makes some scrambled eggs and Tony seems to sleep on one of the armchairs, lightly snoring. “Hey, Stevie. Run up to Sam and get some eggs for you, okay?” The boy nods and waits patiently for Y/N to set him down before he darts away and collides with Sam's arms as the man picks him up and throw him in the air. Y/N walks over to Tony and drapes a blanket, from the couch nearby, over him before she sits on one of these couches. She grabs Tony's Starkpad and starts fiddling with it. Steve joins her with a plate of eggs, that he carefully tries to balance, while Lady jumps excited beside him, trying to get something for herself. “Lady, here.” The dog looks to her, then to Steve and back to her again as if she can't decide if she's ready to give up on the food yet. “Lady.” Reluctant the puppy walks over to Y/N and sits down by her feet while Y/N pats her head and ruffles her fur before she holds the plate for the boy while he climbs up on the couch next to her. They sit in silence as Steve makes his way through the plate of eggs. The moment he finishes, the plate is discharged on the coffee table and the boy runs up to Nat and Clint. Y/N eyes them suspiciously over the edge of the tablet, knowing that they don’t have good things in mind. Both adults crouch down and whisper to Steve who nods energetically. Just as Y/N is about to ask what's up, the three of them walk up to Tony. “Oh no. Guys, please.” Y/N groans. Wanda and Vision exchange a glance before they return to sipping their teas. With a smirk Natasha and Clint slowly free Tony from his shoes and socks. From wherever Steve gets a long feather and strokes it lightly over Tony's right foot. The man grunts, a sound that’s very similar to a pig and Y/N snorts before she covers her mouth in shock. Steve giggles and even the two adults have difficulties to hold their laughter in. Steve returns the motion once again. Tony grunts again and shuffles a bit and suddenly Clint has a second feather. Together the two start to tickle Tony merciless. The brunette grunts and giggles until he jolts upright in the armchair and looks around wildly and confused. Natasha gives Steve a high five before she and Clint flee back to the kitchen area where Sam watches everything with a smirk on his face. Steve runs over to hide behind Y/N which doesn't work all that well because of his laughter. Even Wanda and Vision can't hold back their laughter. Tony looks around and soon finds Nat and Clint behind the kitchen counter. He glares at them before he yawns, stretches and leans back. “Morning.” He grumbles and looks at Y/N with a tired smile. Lady comes up to the billionaire and licks his foot. Tony quickly pulls his feet back buts strokes his hand through her fur. “You really should sleep in your bed instead of the common room. You know how they are.”

“Yeah, yeah. What are you doing with my tablet?” Y/N watches down at her lap where the device rests. “Shopping.”

“Again? I thought you did that yesterday.”

“Yes. And no.” She smiles at Tony as Steve extracts himself from her and walks over to Tony. With a shy smile he reaches up for the man to get picked up on his lap. “Aha, now you want cuddles, huh, kid?” He picks him up nonetheless. Y/N smiles wider which falls and turns to an expressionless frown as Bucky comes in. Lady jumps up from her spot at Tony’s feet and runs up to him, bouncing excited and waits for him to pet her. The soldier looks around and soon sees Steve on Tony's lap. He waves at them and makes his way over, then he sees Y/N’s face and his own turns a bit darker and sad. A flash of guilt joins it. He sits down beside her and fidgets a bit before he turns to her. “Y/N, I-” But Y/N stands up, decides to be angry for a bit longer, and walks past Tony and Steve who look up at her in confusion, out of the room. Lady follows her, and Y/N feels the eyes of all the others on her. Before the door closes behind her, she hears Nat’s confused voice. “What was that, Barnes?”

 

* * *

 

The next day is almost the same. Y/N, Steve and Lady walk to the common room. She makes breakfast for all of them and then sits down between the couches to play with Steve and some toys he had brought with him. The others scatter around them and do whatever they do in the morning. “Lady, sit.” Steve looks at the dog but Lady just lays her head to the side as if to ask what he means. “Sit. Like this.” Steve stands up and flops back down on his butt. Y/N laughs and waits on one of the couches. She picks up her book, looks a bit longer as Steve tries to show their dog how to sit before, she starts to read through the book. She’s almost finished with the first half and determined to have it finished by the end of the next few days. When Bucky comes in, she looks up briefly and returns to her book but then her eyes snap back up and take a closer look at the man. He looks bad. She knows he hasn't slept much last night, if at all. She woke up sometime in the night and found him sprawled out on the couch in the living room. His gaze was focused on the TV, but he wasn’t really watching the show. It was almost three in the morning. But this looks bad, he's a bit paler and his hair sticks up to all sides. He has bags under his eyes, and she thinks that this wasn’t caused by only one night without sleep, and she asks herself if he had slept at all since they fought. Still, she decides to stay mad though she feels a bit guilty about it. She looks back down at her book, missing the unsure gaze Bucky sends in her direction. He comes over slowly and sinks down beside her and starts fidgeting immediately. For a moment they are silent, the others doing their thinks paying no attention to them, but then he turns around to her. Careful, he lays a hand on her arm. “Y/N, please. Can we talk?”

“Why?”

“Please…”

“No! There is nothing to talk about.” She claps her book closed with a bit more force than she intended. The loud clap lets Bucky and the others flinch. Lady whines as Y/N stands up and makes her way to leave. “Mommy? Mommy!” She hears Steve shout for her, but she’s too deep in her anger than to care. She feels guilty, too, knowing that she's acting unfair now and that she isn’t really angry anymore but that’s only to show him that she doesn’t want to accept the fact that he tries to make up to her what he messed up. If she's honest to herself she doesn’t even knows herself what she tries to achieve here.

“Stevie, come here.” Bucky holds out a hand for the small boy who has tears in his eyes. Steve's eyes are fixed on the door, but he walks over to Bucky and lets himself be pulled in. “I’m sorry, Stevie. I’m so sorry.” Bucky lays his forehead on Steve's shoulder and hugs the boy to his chest. “Bucky?” Wanda scoots over to him and puts her hand on his shoulder. “What is this about?” Bucky sighs and looks around. Sam, Tony, Natasha and Wanda look at him, waiting for an answer. He sets Steve from his lap and watches for a moment as the boy crawls back to Lady to cuddle the puppy for comfort while she whines and tries to lick every free spot of skin. But Steve doesn’t giggle, instead he hides further in her fur until she gives up and curls around his small frame. Bucky sighs and looks straight at the coffee table in front of him. “It started the day we came back from the mission a few days ago. I got shot, you all remember that, probably. Well, Nat obviously told Y/N about it.” He gestures at the red head. “I did because you refused to. What do you think how she would react if she finds out herself?” Bucky winces at the thought and nods, now that he knows how bad it is with her knowing what happened. He speaks up again. “I know. Well she got really angry about it. She asked me if I had a death wish. And I understand that. I really do. But then I got angry, too. I wanted to refuse the fact that she was right. We argued and then- and then I said that I don’t deserve to live and if I can save someone than that's what I will do.”

“That was wrong to say.” Tony looks at him with a raised eyebrow and Bucky throws his hands in the air. “Hell, yes. I know. I was just so angry and it slipped out. I know how much energy Steve had put in, to get me to acknowledge that I’m worth living and how much love Y/N shows me to get me to see that, too. I’m trying to talk to her since then, but she barely stays in the room long enough for me to even come over. I think I might have… I ruined everything.” He leans forward and places his head in his hands. “Steve will kill me.”

“Daddy?” Steve tugs on Bucky's sleeve. “Is mommy leaving?” His eyes are full of tears once again, his lower lip trembles, and he’s close to losing it. Bucky takes in a deep breath, wanting to answer. But then he finds himself not knowing what to tell Steve. Because he doesn’t know. “I- I don’t know, pal.” Steve frowns and then lets his head hang. “Is it my fault?”

“No. No, Stevie. Daddy made a mistake. It’s mine. You’re a good boy, okay?” Steve looks up as Bucky lays his hands on his cheeks. “All mine.” Steve nods slowly and lets himself be pulled in again. The others exchange a worried look but neither of them dares to say something just yet.

It's still early, so Bucky takes Steve and Lady back to their apartment after he talked to the others for a bit longer. They had argued with him a bit, and they clearly weren’t pleased with how he reacted as he fought with Y/N, but they understand for some kind and give him some advices how to get rid of the problem faster. He had a bit more hope now.

Inside their apartment Steve immediately runs to the playroom and Lady follows him, barking once. Y/N sits on a windows-ill, looking down to the green place where some people are running laps. “Y/N…” Bucky's voice is silent and defeated as he approaches her. Her head whips around, and she is about to stand up but Bucky holds up a hand. Surprisingly, she stops. “Please. Don’t run off again.” It sounds almost begging. “Can we talk about it? Please?” She studies him for a moment longer before she slowly nods. “Okay. How to start…” He paces up and down in front of her as she shuffles on the windows-ill to sit a bit more comfortable. “Okay, first. I’m sorry. I’m really so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. But I…”

“You still think that you’re worth nothing, Bucky. That is why I’m really angry. You got shot. Okay. That happens and I know that. You throw yourself in front of friend. Okay. I know Steve does it, too, and I know the others would do it, too. It’s okay, I understand that and I don’t think it makes me really angry despite you trying to hide it. But what makes me furious is, that you don’t do it to save the others but because you think you're not worth it. After all the time we’re together now. All the time Steve worked on getting you back up on your feet - us showing how much you mean to us - you still think you could throw yourself away like this and no one would even cry a single tear about it.”

“That’s not true. I know how much I mean to you. You mean as much to me. I still think that with all I’ve done-”

“That wasn't you!” Y/N’s voice gets a bit louder. Bucky winces and glances back through the hall to the playroom. It’s silent and neither Lady nor Steve are to be heard. “I know.” He turns back around to face Y/N who now has her arms crossed. “But I still did it. And after all that, I think it's better to safe the ones who don’t have as much blood on their hand than I do. But that doesn’t mean that I do everything to come back to you.”

“Really? That’s how you apologize? By saying the same thing just in other words?” Y/N jumps down and stands right in front of him. “Tony has as much blood on his hands as you do. Natasha, too. But neither of them throws their lives away like this! I don’t want to look at you throwing everything away. I refuse to kiss you goodbye for a mission not knowing if today is the day you finally get hit and die on the field. I can’t.” She stomps past him into her room and throws the door closed with a loud bang. Neither of them had seen Steve slip out of the front door.

 

* * *

 

It’s an hour later that Y/N comes out of her room. She ignores the defeated sitting Bucky on the couch and walks into the kitchen and prepares some lunch. “Stevie! Lunch time.” She shouts for the boy but receives no answer. “Steve!” She looks into the living room. But there's just Bucky who lifts his head confused. He stands up and walks to the playroom. He comes right back out and walks into the kids’ room, then Steve's, then his own and then Y/N’s. “He's not here.”

“What do you mean he's not here?” Her voice has a sharp edge in it. “I- He’s not here. Lady neither.” Y/N comes out of the kitchen, ready to look in the rooms herself as a knock on the door lets her change her route. “Clint?”

“Yeah, hi. This little girl was walking up and down in front of the elevator. I nearly fell over her.”

“Lady?” Bucky comes up behind Y/N and looks down at the dog. Lady barks but her tail doesn't waggle. She doesn't show any sign of being happy to be home again. Slowly the dog walks in to her bowl and starts slowly eating. She never eats slowly and that lets Bucky frown. “Clint, was Steve with her?”

“Steve? Nope. Didn’t see him. Why? Is he hiding?” Clint smirks. Y/N looks briefly at Bucky who still stares at the dog as if she will talk to him any moment and tell him where Steve is. “We can't find him.” Clint's eyebrows shoot up. “You can't find him?”

“Yes. Bucky says he's not here. You really didn’t see him?” Clint slowly shakes his head. “Come on. We ask the others. He probably went down to Tony or draws with Wanda because of your shouting or something.” Y/N and Bucky wince at that but follow the blonde. They didn’t know that they had gotten so loud the last time.

It takes another hour to find and ask everyone but no one had seen the little super soldier. Y/N sinks down on one couch in the common room, while Bucky paces behind her. The others look around unsure of what to do. “Did you ask FRIDAY?” Tony looks at Y/N and as she doesn’t react, he looks over to Bucky. “Oh. How could I forget. No, we didn’t.”

“FRIDAY, where is Steve?” Tony asks and eyes both, Y/N and Bucky, a bit closer. “The little Captain left the compound two hours ago. I lost track of him after he passed the front gate, boss.”

“You-” Y/N throws her head up. “He left the compound? Through the gate? And no one stopped him?”

“It seems he is very skilled to sneak around as kid, too, Miss Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“FRIDAY, why didn’t you alert anyone?” Tony looks a bit offended at the nearest camera. “I’m sorry, boss, but the Captain did forbid me to. You ordered me to follow each of the Avengers requests.”

“But not the ones of a kid!” Tony throws his hands up. FRIDAY stays silent. Y/N feels her hand tremble and her legs get wobbly. She sits back down and hugs her arms tighter around her middle, drawing her legs to her chest. “We’ll go out. He can’t be far.” Clint speaks up but Y/N doesn’t even glance at him. In about a year she managed to lose two kids because she didn’t concentrate on the task at hand. Yes, she found Bucky but the fact that she even lost him in the first place is still a deep wound in her mind. She hears the voices around her, and she knows her friends debate at how to find her son, but she can't concentrate on who's talking, on the sentences or even the words. It’s as if a cloud forms in her head. Everything seems far away and yet so close. A cold and a warm hand place themselves on her shoulders. She looks up and as she sees no one except Lady who has her front paws and her head on her knees she looks to the right behind her. Bucky stands there and looks down to her. “They find him. They go in a minute. They said we should stay, just in case he comes home again. But… Do you want me to go, too?”

For a second, she wants to scream. ‘Yes! Yes, leave me alone like you want to. You’re not even happy with me. You don’t care about me anyway. Grab Steve and go.’ But then she shakes her head and looks down at Lady. A hand of her rubs her head absentmindedly. “No. Stay, please.” Bucky's thumbs rub on her shoulders, and he squeezes slightly. “Okay.” He lets go of her and walks into the kitchen. A few minutes later he returns with a cup of tea and passes it to Y/N’s hands before he starts pacing one again.

Time goes by as slow as it did the time Bucky was lost. Seconds turn into minutes, then into hours without any sign of Steve. Bucky loiters up and down the common room. At some point Y/N can’t bear it any longer to look at him pacing like that, so she goes back to their apartment for a while, looking at Steve's pictures and in the photo album before she goes back to Bucky. “It’s almost time for dinner.” She mumbles as she walks over to the window. “And it’s getting cold.”

“They’ll find him Y/N.”

“How can you know?” She snaps at him but Bucky sends her just a tired and sad look. Suddenly it hits her. She's being unfair. It's his son, too. His son, his best friend, his boyfriend. He's worried, too. “Sorry.” She turns around and looks down to the floor. Lady sits next to her, looking up at her before she strolls over to Bucky and noses his hand. He rubs over her head and walks over to Y/N. “It’s okay.”

He opens his mouth to say something else as Tony and Nat walk in. From their expression Y/N sees that they don’t have very good news. Without any words Nat walks up to them, a sad expression on her face. She reaches out and holds something out for either Bucky or Y/N to take. Bucky takes it and stares at the former white thing that's now dirty with mud. “His sheep.” It’s almost silent and not to hear but Y/N hears it. She knows tears stream down her cheeks as she reaches out for the sheep with shaking hands. Her legs feel like pudding as her hand strokes over the soft and dirty fur of the plushie. “Y/N!” The voices call out as Y/N’s legs give in. A painful grip on her arm lets her sight clear again after it got white for a moment. She sits on the floor, Bucky's metal hand on her arm. “Shit. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.” Her arm has a bright red hand print on it which probably will turn ugly blue and purple in a few minutes. Instead of saying anything about it she slaps his hand away. He has just the time to blink, to look confused, hurt and scared, until Y/N throws herself in his arms. She throws her hands around his neck and holds on tight. He hugs her back, pulling her more onto him. “It’s okay, Y/N. It’s okay. He’s a strong boy. Maybe he just lost the dumb sheep. Our Stevie is a fighter, doll. They find him.” Y/N keeps on crying until her eyes, head and lungs hurt.

Stevie is gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky sits on the ground in front of the couch. He has his left hand buried in Y/N’s hair, stroking a soft motion through it. His right hand has one of Y/N’s clasped in it. She had started to panic and had trouble to calm down. Eventually, Nat had called Bruce, and he came up to give Y/N something to help her which made her tired and sleepy and quickly send her into a dreamless sleep. Bucky hasn’t left her side since she fell asleep. His legs feel numb and his butt hurts, but he endures it to give Y/N at least some comfort. Dinner time is nearing and neither of them had ate something until now. Bucky starts to worry. He knows Y/N skipped some meals the last days and ate only breakfast today. He makes a small note in his mind to get her something light for when she wakes up.

There's still no sign from Stevie. Tony, Nat and the others, that are around, are walking through the compound now and ask if someone saw Steve and knows where to he went. A whimper pulls him back out of his thought. He starts his motions through Y/N hair again, not knowing that he even has stopped. “It’s okay, doll. I’m here.”

“Stevie?” Her voice is a bit hoarse and only slightly above a whisper. “No, doll. Still, no sign.” Y/N sighs and goes limb again. He hasn't notice her getting tense, too. he slightly curses himself, for not being as efficient as he used to be and _should_ be. “We’ll find him. I promise.” He leans in and kisses her forehead, the tense atmosphere between them from before forgotten for a moment. Y/N just nods tiredly. She's pale and if Bucky wouldn’t know it better, he would say she's really sick. “Hey, baby. Come on. Let's eat something.”

“’m not hungry.”

“I know. But we have to, okay? For Stevie.”

“But… he hasn’t eating anything in a day either.” New tears form in her eyes and Bucky panics that she starts to lose it again. “Doll. Don’t do this to yourself.” He helps her sit up. Steve's sheep rolls out of her arms, bounces away from her lap and lands on the ground. She leans forward and picks it up, then she cradles it back in her hand and glides her finger through its fur. “I can't. Bucky. I just can't.”

“What? Hey, baby doll. Look at me.” Bucky places his hands on either side of her face, softly lifting it until he sees her eyes. “I can't lose him. I can't lose you. And… I don’t know if he's even alive. Maybe if he dropped again, then he has a chance but like this? Bucky. He's so small. He's only a child. He’s freezing. I know it and he will get hypothermia and then he will-”

“Don’t, Y/N. Don’t do this thinking.” Tears stream down her cheeks and Bucky feels his gut twist and his heart tightens. He knows exactly what she feels and thinks because the same things are running around in his head since she fell asleep. “Doll…”

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” She blurts out. Her face shows him that she really believes it. He wants to argue, saying that if he hasn't argued with her before they hadn’t fought and had recognized him sneaking out. But Y/N starts to panic. “Oh my god. It is my fault. I had to look after him, watch him, keep him safe. But I was so angry. It didn’t even occur to me that he could run off.” She chocks on a sob. Her breathing goes faster and a bit ragged, and she starts hyperventilating. “Y/N, you need to calm down.”

“I can't. It's my fault. I- It's my…” Lady comes up to Y/N and snuggles her head in her shoulder, trying to comfort her with a low whine, but Y/N is already too deep in her head space. “I’m sorry. I’m a bad mother. I know.”

“No, baby, no. You’re not. You're doing just fine with us. You're great.”

“No! I already lost you once. And now- now-” She sobs again and starts trembling. Sweat builds on her forehead and Bucky sees the panic attack starting. “I- I should leave.” She stands up on shaky legs, letting the stuffed animal fall to the floor once again. A cold shudder runs over Bucky’s back. He feels cold and lost and fear creeps up in his mind. Fear that Y/N actually will leave him alone. In a quick motion he grabs her wrist. “Don’t, Y/N. Please, don’t. I need you here. Please.” He pleads but Y/N's eyes are distant.

She looks down at him, but she clearly doesn't see him. Her legs give out and her breathing is too fast. She curls together beside him and gasps for air. She mumbles words Bucky can’t understand, but he still tries to calm her. “Y/N. I’m here. You’re good. You’re perfect. We need you.” He pulls her up carefully, knowing that she hasn’t the strength to fight him but it could make her panic worse if he's to direct. “ _I_ need you.” He leans his back against the sofa and leans hers against his chest. Lady settles between Y/N legs whining and shuffling helplessly. Bucky feels his own tears burn in his eyes, but he chokes it back, so he can be there for just Y/N and deal with his own panic afterwards.

He knows how Steve was as child in the 40s. He never ran away but he had pulled a lot of shit that had his Ma and him scared all the time.

His hand combs through her hair again, and he murmurs how beautiful, good, talented and brave she is. It takes a while for her but slowly she starts to relax and he lets out a breath of relive. He doesn’t have to call Bruce a second time.

They don’t register Bruce and Wanda coming in. Just as Y/N closes her eyes again and lets out a ragged breath, just then looks Bucky up and sees both of them sitting on the couch opposite them. They look at them with concerned faces but neither of them says anything. Slowly Bruce stands up and crouches in front of Y/N. He takes her hands in his and takes her pulse while he whispers to her. Bucky doesn’t listen, he focuses on his own breathing keeping it flat and steady for Y/N easily to copy, as Bruce measures her pulse and gives her another pill to help her avoid these attacks for a while. After she feels good to stand on her own feet again, she sits in front of the window, staring outside into the darkening sky. Bucky comes over, shoves her away softly. “Bucky.” His name is the only thing she says in a whisper and instead of answering her he grabs one of the big and heavy armchairs and places it on the spot where she had been just a second ago. “Here doll. That will be better, don’t sit on the ground.” She nods at him but says nothing else. Bucky knows she’s thankful, so he kisses her temple, throws a blanket over her lap and walks back to Bruce. “Anything?” The brunette shakes his head, a sad expression on his face. Wanda stands up as well and joins the men. “I tried to find him, reach out for his mind but I couldn’t find him. He’s not in the compound. I never tried it when he’s little. It’s different. I’m sorry, Bucky.” Bucky shakes his head with a deep sigh. He runs his hand down his face, his eyes locking on Y/N. “She worries me as much as he does. Maybe more. I know what Stevie did back in the 40s and he was even worse for wear than he is now. But Y/N…” Wanda turns around to look at Y/N as well. She sits in the chair and stares outside. Her eyes don’t dart around, she just fixes on one point. Bucky thinks she doesn’t even really see anything. “She didn’t really eat anything; she doesn’t want to drink and the second shes out of meds that calm her she panics. She blames herself and that will destroy her…”

“Don’t worry. We’ll find him. Even FRIDAY is trying to detect him.”

“And I’ll try to reach him.” Wanda squeezes his arm lightly and walks off to Y/N. She sits down on the armrest and talks quietly to Y/N. Bucky nods at Bruce and follows Wanda with his eyes as she walks over to the armchair. “Barnes. This is not easy for her. You know she doubts herself now and then. She lost you once and this… This is even worse. Whatever you didn’t talked over, by now you have to. She needs you as much as you need her. Even when no one of you wants to admit it.”

“I know. It’s just… I don’t know this side of her and I’m… I’m not really good in this comforting thing I guess.”

“You’re doing fine. Better than me and Tony in any case.” Bruce claps him on the shoulder with a reassuring smile. “Do you mind if I…?” Bucky motions back to Y/N. “No. No, of course not, go on.” Bruce gives him a small smile before he and Wanda leave again. Wanda pats Y/N on the shoulder and kisses her hair before she stands up. Bucky looks after them for a moment and then he walks over to Y/N. Tears roll down her cheeks but she doesn’t seem to feel them. “Hey.” Bucky takes her hand and intervenes their fingers. She doesn’t answer him but she tightens her fingers a bit around his. Bucky’s metal hand wipes away some tears and he strokes a few strands of hair out of her face. Lady lies on Y/Ns lap, snuggled up to her stomach while Y/N’s other hand cards through her fur. Bucky crouches down next to her for a while and holds onto her hand. He really needs to use the bathroom but a bit of fear creeps up in his gut again when he thinks about leaving her alone, even if it’s just for a few minutes. He squeezes her hand a few times, looks at her face for a few moments and studies her. She’s still staring outside, not fixing her eyes on anything. Lady yawns and looks up briefly to lick a tear from Y/N’s cheek and once over her and Bucky’s hand before she settles down again. “It’s my fault.” Her voice is so silent that Bucky thought he had imagined it, if it weren’t for Lady’s whine. “No, Y/N. It’s mine. Or at least we’re both at fault.” Y/N shakes her head barely noticeable. Bucky sighs. “It’s not your fault. Don’t burden yourself with it. Don’t do this to yourself.” When Bucky looks back at the clock it’s quite late. He presses a kiss to her temple, murmurs he’s right back and runs up to the toilets because he can’t hold it any longer, uses it and walks back to the common room and into the kitchen. He makes quick work of preparing a fast dinner, just a sandwich for her and one for him, and some tea, places everything on a tray and walks back to Y/N. He sets down the tray on the coffee table and walks back up to Y/N again. “Hey, doll. Come on. Let’s eat something.” He crouches down in front of her this time, pushing Lady down from Y/N’s lap and earning a glare from the dog. Lady shuffles back to the couch and lies down but not before she snatches one of the sandwiches from the plate. Bucky sighs defeated but says nothing. “’m not hungry.” Bucky sighs quietly and places his hands on her knees. “Y/N. We need to stay strong for Stevie. We need to eat at least something, okay?”

“He hasn’t eaten either.”

“He hasn’t, but we can’t not eat just because he hasn’t. We have to, so when he’s back we have or full attention and energy to focus on him, okay? Please. I made a sandwich. The ones you like so much.” Finally, Y/N turns her head to him and looks him directly into the eyes for the first time. She lets out her breath trough her nose and nods. He nods back and helps her up. Just as he turns to walk to the couch with her, she stops him. Quickly she slings her arms around his chest and buries her face in it. Bucky is shocked for a moment. He isn’t prepared for her to hang on him so tightly after they just fought so much, but he wraps his arms around her, presses her closer to his chest and kisses her on the hair. “I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“I’m sorry, too. I love you. I don’t want to lose you, either.” He kisses her again to make clear that he means it. He feels her nod against his chest and her grip tightens. “I was scared. I thought we lose you one day if I don’t make clear that your worth saving. But I… I know I got carried away. I was angry, just to be angry and not to help you understand. I don’t even know why I wanted you to suffer so much.”

“I know, Y/N. Believe me, I know. I know I’m reckless sometimes and I know I don’t think good of myself sometimes, but I love you. You both. And I will do absolutely everything to make sure that we stay together for as long as you want me.”

“I want you forever.”

“Then I stay for forever.” He kisses her a third time and again Y/N tightens her grip before she lets it loosen again. She looks up at him and studies his grey-blue eyes. “Please, just be more careful. I can’t lose you or Steve. Never. And I don’t want to fight. It’s no fun.” A smile creeps on Bucky’s face and Y/N lifts the corners of her mouth just the tiniest bit but Bucky sees it. He nods and this time presses a kiss to her lips. He stays there for a moment, deepens the kiss and both pour all their feelings in it for the other to feel. When they part again, they’re both a bit breathless. Bucky guides Y/N over to the couch while Lady chews on his sandwich with a look of satisfaction. The puppy looks up at Y/N as if she wants to make sure that her mommy is well and doesn’t need her comfort. Y/N sits down on the couch and as soon as she sees the food her stomach starts grumbling. Her cheeks go red immediately and Bucky barks out a laugh. “Not hungry, huh? Dig in, doll.” He kisses her on the forehead and slips in beside her after he filled a bowl with dog food and gives it to Lady. Lady just eyes it and as the queen that she is, she hops gracefully down and walks over to it. Bucky rolls his eyes and quickly prepares a second sandwich for himself before he joins Y/N on the couch. They eat in silence and soon Lady joins them again and nuzzles into Y/N’s side, half laying on Bucky’s lap and giving him no room to move. “We should have named her diva.” It’s the first time that Y/N really laughs since Steve is gone. 

* * *

 

Steve peeks through the slit of the door. Mommy and daddy look at each other and first their voices are silent, but then mommy jumps down from the windows ill and starts screaming. Shocked, he places his hands on his ears and just looks a moment. Lady nudges her head on his side, and he looks to the puppy. Tears gather in his eyes. He wipes them away quickly before he looks around in the playroom. Cloudy sits on his desk, so Steve runs over and hugs the sheep to his chest. “Mommy and daddy are shouting, Cloudy. Am I that bad?” The sheep doesn’t answer but it’s enough for the blonde boy. He nods to the sheep and looks around. He sees the backpack Wanda had given him for his art supplies when he comes to her, so that he doesn’t have to carry all of it in his arms. He grabs it and shoves some pencils and some papers inside. He places cloudy on top of it but struggles with closing it. “Hold on tight, Cloudy.” He whispers to his sheep and places a kiss on the sheep’s head before he carefully pulls it on his back, so that his sheep won’t fall out of the open backpack. He tiptoes back to the door and peeks outside. Y/N shouts at Bucky and both are focused on each other. Steve looks back at Lady who whines beside him. Then he slips out of the room and runs over to the door. He slips on his shoes and grabs his jacket and runs out of the apartment. Lady whines again and tries to pull Steve back, biting in the fabric of his jacket. “No. Lady, stop.” Steve pushes her head away and pushes the button for the elevator. It takes just a second before the door opens. The boy steps in and looks at Lady. The puppy whines and lies down, head on her paws. Steve thinks about motioning for Lady to come in but the dog just whines and looks at him. “FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“I want down.”

“Of course.” The doors slide close and Steve feels the elevator slide down. “May I say that it’s unwise to walk around alone, Captain?”

“You can’t tell mommy or daddy, FRIDAY. Please?”

“How about your uncles and aunts?”

“No! Please, FRIDAY. It’s a secret.”

“Of course, Captain. We reached the entry hall.” As FRIDAY says it, the elevator stops and the doors slide open. Steve peeks out and soon runs over to the doors. He slips out and looks around. Many people are walking around but none of them really seems to look at him. Steve takes a last look back in the hall and the elevator before he runs from bush to bush. He nearly crossed the whole green place as he stumbles and falls directly into a puddle of mud by the big gate. Mommy always tells him that he and Bucky can’t go past this gate because it’s dangerous but right now Steve thinks it’s the only thing that he can do. He can’t stay here if mommy and daddy are sad that they need to have such a bad boy. Tears burn again in his eyes and this time he doesn’t wipe them away. He scrambles back up and slips out of the open gate and on the street in front of the compound. He knows this street. Mommy and daddy or his aunts and uncles go along this street often when they take him out to the park and the playground. But mostly they ride in one of uncle Tony’s cars. He walks along the street for a little while. Now and then he looks back at his home and sees how it gets smaller and smaller with each passing minute. He starts running faster and faster but stops as his breath comes in shorter puffs. His head snaps up to the sound of a car from behind him. He looks back and quickly jumps behind the bushes on the side of the street and runs deep into the forest until he can’t see the street anymore. He stumbles again and tries to hold himself up but falls and lands on his stomach. He stays on the ground for a second, shocked that he actually fell. Tears come down faster now, so he sits up and shrugs the backpack from his back. “C-cloudy.” He searches for his sheep in his backpack but it’s… It’s gone. “Cloudy?” He looks around and searches for the white fur of his stuffed friend but sees nothing than red and brown leaves on the ground. The green of the trees and bushes and here and there a bit of other colors from the wild flowers that slowly start to bloom now. “Cloudy?!” He shouts a bit louder and turns around in every possible direction but finds nothing. “Noo…” He shivers and a thick lump starts forming in his throat. He feels cold, alone and for the first time since he left, he feels helpless and scared, too. “Mommy? Daddy!” He looks around wildly and cries and shouts but the only answer he gets are the sounds from the trees, shrieks from the birds that flee from him and the rustling of the bushes in the cold wind. He grabs his backpack again and starts running in a direction he thinks his home is. He can’t hear cars or see the street or the compound. He runs further and deeper into the forest without noticing. The shivering gets heavier and the tears won’t stop, blurring his sight. A third time he stumbles and falls, but this time he stays there on the ground and rolls into a small ball and cries. He doesn't know for how long. He only knows that his breath it too quick and that he doesn’t get enough air. That he's cold and scared. That he wants his mommy and daddy to pick him up and give him something to eat and cuddle with him. He wants to go home.

 

* * *

 

The sky is pitch black now. Y/N is in Bucky’s arms and they lay on the couch, Y/N on top of him and he lets his fingers glide through her hair. Her eyes are puffy again. She had cried a few minutes ago, guilt eating on her. It feels like she got several years older now.

They still have no sign of Steve and Bucky gets restless himself. He should be out there, searching for his son, friend and boyfriend. But he knows how important it is for Y/N to have him near her. “You should try and sleep a bit.” He looks into her face but Y/N shakes her head. “Can’t. Not if we still haven’t found him.”

“Okay. We’ll find him.” He returns to stroking her hair and she sighs. She knows as well, that Bucky wants to get out there and help and silently she wants him to go but to stay alone would make her more anxious. She wants to search for him, too, but if he returns and no one is there… She can’t really make up her mind to how he must feel then. How he feels now. He must be scared. Feeling tired, cold and hungry. She tries not to think about that. Instead, she looks at Lady and pats Bucky’s chest after she shuffles to lay between him and the backrest. “What are you- Umpf.” Lady jumps up and lands on Bucky’s stomach. She taps around before she lies down, huffs out a breath and lets Y/N glide her hand through her fur. Y/N smiles at Bucky’s surprised face and nuzzles into him a bit more.

“GUYS!” Y/N flinches and Bucky looks up with wide eyes. Wanda comes running in, Bruce on her heels. “I think we got him.”

“What?!” Y/N sits up and stares at her with hopeful eyes. “Yeah I think we found him. Well, FRIDAY found him.”

“Really?” Bucky sits up as well, maneuvering Lady on his lap. “I’m 99.75% sure that I found Captain Rogers, Sergeant.” FRIDAY’s voice sounds at them from the ceiling and Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, relief watching over him. “Where is he?”

“I tried to reach out to the point FRIDAY thinks he is and I found a confused and scared aura. He’s somewhere in the forest. The others are already on their ways.” “Is that right, FRIDAY? Is it him?”

“As I said, I’m 99.75% sure that it is Captain Rogers heat signature I’m detecting, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank god.” She grabs Bucky’s metal arm and pierces her fingers in it. He’s glad that she reached for his metal arm, otherwise it would really hurt. “Let’s go.” Y/N stands up and looks at Bucky who looks back at her in confusion. “I know you want to go out and search for him and I can’t sit here any longer, either.”

“Okay.” He stands up as well. They’re already half way to the elevators with Bruce and Wanda as Y/N stops. “I forgot something. Just a minute.” She runs off, back to the common room and returns a few seconds later with Lady on the leash, Steve’s dirty sheep and a thick blanket in her arms. Bucky looks at her, a bit confused but says nothing. He takes the leash from her and together they quickly walk to the elevator and then to the edge of the forest. Y/N and Bucky follow Wanda and Bruce into the forest. The two have flashlights and illuminate the way in front of them. Now and then Wanda stops and reaches out again and directs them in another direction. They’re ten minutes in the forest as it starts raining. Y/N shivers but her thoughts are on Steve only. They’re drenched through in a matter of a few minutes but they walk further. Another twenty minutes and Lady starts to drag on the leash. She barks and waggles her tail and if Y/N had taken the leash she would have fallen over, even if Lady is still a puppy. Far in the distance they see some lights and soon they can make out Clint and Sam. Sam holds a small shivering bundle in his arms. He rubs and rocks it. Y/N looks for just a second then she runs. She doesn’t wait for the others or looks at the ground. She almost trips but she runs further until she’s right in fornt of Sam and Clint. “You have him!” Sam’s head snaps up and he nods, a grim expression on his face. “He’s shivering badly and his lips are blue.”

“Give him to me. I have a blanket.” She spreads the cream-colored fabric and wraps it tightly around Steve before she takes the small boy in her arms. Many, many kisses are scattered around his face and head and she presses him so tight to her body that she thinks if she does it more firmly, she will crush him. But she can’t other. All the anxiety and fear leave her body and only the adrenaline stays. “Stevie. Hey, mommy’s here. You’re safe now. You’re safe.” She kisses him again and then finally the boy opens his eyes. “M-mom-y?” He’s shivering badly just as Sam says and Y/N can feel on her lips that his face is stone cold. She wraps the blanket a bit around his head, just so that his face still pokes out and presses him against her more firmly, if even possible. “Yeah, sweetie, it’s me. And daddy.” Bucky, Wanda and Bruce step up to her, finally managed to get to them. “Steve. Hey.”

“D-da-y.” the boy slurs his words and Y/N worries. Tears drip down her face and as she looks up, she sees that Bucky is the same crying mess as she is. Bruce steps up to them and throws just one look at the boy before he ushers them back in direction of the compound. “Quick. Let’s get him warm. I don’t want him catching pneumonia or something.” Halfway back to the compound they meet up with Nat and Tony and rush further to the facility.  

 

* * *

 

Four hours later, at half past twelve, they all sit in Y/N’s bed. Steve sits in the middle, wrapped up in his winter pj’s and a thick blanket. Even after a hot bath with Bucky he’s still shivering, the cold had sunken deep into his bones. Y/N has a tray with a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon and three mugs of hot chocolate on it. She passes a mug to Bucky and shoves the tray on Steve’s legs, clapping out the legs of it, so that Steve doesn’t have to balance it. Then she takes her mug and takes a sip before her fingers glide through Steve’s gold-blonde locks. Lady hops onto the bed and snuggles down at Steve’s feet, looking at him as if he could run off again. Steve shoves the fork with eggs into his mouth and chokes it down. “Slowly, sweetie. You’ll get sick.” She strokes his hair again but doesn’t scolds him when he chokes down the next bite. Bucky watches them for the time Steve eats and takes the tray and the plate away as soon as he finished it. He gives Steve his mug and kisses his forehead. The boy smiles at him and leans against Y/N as he takes a sip.

Four hours before, Bruce had him checked over and wrapped him into a heating blanket. Steve had cried awfully after he slowly got warm again and clung to his parents with his life. The heat that started to come back made his skin prickle and itch and Steve doesn’t liked it one bit. Bruce had confirmed that he, luckily, had just a light case of hypothermia and that, if they keep a close eye on him, he probably will be fine. After many snuggles and kisses they had asked Steve why he had left. The boy started crying again. “Mommy, w-will leave, because I w-was bad. M-mommy and d-daddy f-fight and then I will be ah-alone. I don’t wanna be alone. I left, so mommy and daddy can be happy again.”

“No, Stevie, no. Mommy loves you and daddy, too. We don’t want you to leave. We don’t want that. I love you so much. I won’t leave. Never.” Y/N had kissed him and Bucky had wrapped him in his arms and had carried him up to their apartment.

Y/N smiles down at him and whispers against his ear. His eyes drop close more than once, so Bucky takes the half empty mug back out of his hands and places it on the tray beside the bed. Y/N tucks him into the blanket so that he can fall asleep without sitting in an uncomfortable angle. “I love you.” She kisses him good night and leans over to Bucky to kiss him as well. They both settle down next to him. Even as Steve is fast asleep, they look at him, fingers locked together over Stevie’s tummy. They smile at each other but neither of them falls asleep before the sun comes up. Steve is back home. He’s fine. And they love him. But more important, he loves his mommy and daddy more.

 


End file.
